80/20 Love.

Pat struck up a conversation with a new colleague at work a few days ago and discovered that he loves adventure trips, just like her. Over the next weeks, they became best buddies. She's always pumped about heading to the office; she looks forward to spending time with Jeff.  "It's so nice to be able to have conversation  with someone who loves travelling," she said to Jeff one day at the office. Pat's husband Donald has noticed his wife's aloofness towards him and her new enthusiasm every work day. He can't figure out what's wrong.


Susan has been perplexed lately...her husband Dave is a totally different man; he no longer complains about her lack of interest art. "It's okay if you don't want to watch me work, I understand," he told her a few days ago as he was working on a new painting. Susan is totally confused about his new attitude and sudden metamorphosis. Unknown to her, Dave has become friendly with a lady he met at an art gallery recently. Their love for art is the bridge that has connected them. It's the reason why Dave isn't bothered about his wife's disinterest in this aspect of his life.

For Pat and Dave, their new friendships are blossoming at the expense of both their marital relationships. Pat's husband Donald feels neglected while Susan cannot comprehend that she and Dave no loner argue over things like before. It's left her unsettled.

The path which both Pat and Dave are treading on is dangerous. Dangerous because the more time each spends with their "buddy," the more closer they'll bond; more so because they have something in common. It may not be long before the friendship develops into something deeper.

There are many real-life Pats and Daves in the world. People in committed relationships who leave what they have, in search of what they don't have.

Heard about The 80/20 Rule of relationships?
Well, it basically states that you only get 80 percent of what you want from a relationship and 20 percent of what you want, you don't get.

This rule is predicated on the idea that since no human being is perfect, he/she can't be 100 percent what you want them to be. Our flaws, weaknesses and idiosyncrasies will always limit how much we are able to put into a relationship. Nonetheless, the 80 we are able to give is enough for the other person and creates the breeding ground for a wholesome relationship.

Having full understanding of this rule helps us try to reason why people are unfaithful in relationships. Usually, people attach more significance to the 20 percent that isn't gotten and decide to look for it outside their relationship. Many have lost wonderful relationships in quest for the 20, only to later realize they were at their best with 80.





So here's what couples and would-be couples should take-home from this:

1. Accept that truly, no one can give you 100 percent of what you want and neither can you. What matters is that both of you give each other your best...which is good enough for your relationship to thrive.

2. Learn to appreciate your significant other. The more you appreciate one another, the more your relationship grows in value. Whatever you value, you will protect and do everything to keep.

3. If you want your partner to put in more than 80, find ways to communicate this lovingly.
Sometimes, people need to be told where they're falling short. Consciously decide to compromise and meet each other halfway. You both may not share the same interests, but you can learn to enjoy what the other likes.

It may always seem easier to find your 20 somewhere else, but the grass always looks greener on the other side...until you get to the other side! Remember that human perspective is  limited.
May it never be said that you lost a diamond while you were busy collecting stones.