Is love inconveniencing?...

One of my Facebook status updates yesterday read thus: “The proof that we love someone is demonstrated in our willingness to be there for them when it isn't convenient.” I was actually watching Joyce Meyer preach on television when that thought dropped in my mind. Perhaps it was inspired by something she said. That notwithstanding, I re-read that post today and it got me meditating on the concept of love.

Generally, the world’s idea of love is made-out to be something that is pleasant; something that always feels good. In a very simplistic illustration, we would say that if we enjoy a person’s company, if he/she makes us giddy or cheery…if we experience the proverbial “butterflies in our tummy”…etc., then we can conclude that we love him/her. Many people therefore start friendships/relationships based on this premise. While its true that love should make you feel good...it isn't all about that.

The Bible tells us that “greater love has no one than this….than to lay down one’s life for a friend” (John 15:13). To “lay down your life” for a friend may not mean literally dying for the person…but it talks about sacrifice. It is about placing the other’s needs and wants above your own. It is about doing what may not necessarily feel good for you…but what makes the other person feel good. This isn't an easy concept to grasp. Let us look at the example of Jesus Christ. He left the heavenly realm, His throne; He forsook His royalty and divinity and came down to earth where He lived as a mortal man; He even wept…yes, Jesus cried. He was persecuted, hated, humiliated and on the cross, He suffered the worst kind of pain ever known to man. He took all the sicknesses of the world upon Himself, all the different types of pain there is and every would be…He bore on and in His flesh. Jesus didn’t feel good when He went through this torment and torture. When He went to the garden of Gethsemane to pray before the crucifixion, He asked God the Father if He could take that cup (of death) away from Him. This wasn’t a pleasant experience for Jesus, but He did it anyway. And He wasn’t forced…He willingly gave His life for us.

For us humans, it may never get to that point where we would offer our lives for someone else, ...but there is pain in love, sometimes...many times. Physical pain...and emotional pain too. I believe that the true yardstick for measuring if what we have in our earthly relationships really is love, is how we act during those inconvenient, painful moments. Those moments when would rather not be there for someone else, those moments when we have our own equally important things to do. If we can sacrifice our time, energy and efforts willingly, even when it may hurt to do so, when it may not feel nice …then we can say that what we have is really love.

Take a closer examination at Paul’s definition of love in 2 Corinthians 13: 4-7: “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;  does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things….”

This passage of Scripture describes love as patience, appreciation, humility, gentleness, selflessness, compromise, not getting upset, forgiving...etc. None of these virtues are easy to imbibe and express. It isn’t easy to always be nice, kind and forgiving towards another person. He/she may truly do something terrible to you...and you may feel justified not to forgive...but you must! It is even most difficult to be selfless because we have our needs as well. But God’s word cannot be changed. If truly we say we love someone…then we must demonstrate all these good traits in all our actions towards them. The end result in a loving relationship is that both parties ensure to the happiness of each other...at all costs.

On a final note…If you’re reading this and you’re not sure if what you have in your relationship is truly love (according to God’s word) then you may want to assess your behavior and actions towards your significant other using the above mentioned scripture. If you show all of these virtues towards each other without holding back…then you are on the right track. If not then what you have may be everything else, except love.