Is love inconveniencing?...

One of my Facebook status updates yesterday read thus: “The proof that we love someone is demonstrated in our willingness to be there for them when it isn't convenient.” I was actually watching Joyce Meyer preach on television when that thought dropped in my mind. Perhaps it was inspired by something she said. That notwithstanding, I re-read that post today and it got me meditating on the concept of love.

Generally, the world’s idea of love is made-out to be something that is pleasant; something that always feels good. In a very simplistic illustration, we would say that if we enjoy a person’s company, if he/she makes us giddy or cheery…if we experience the proverbial “butterflies in our tummy”…etc., then we can conclude that we love him/her. Many people therefore start friendships/relationships based on this premise. While its true that love should make you feel good...it isn't all about that.

The Bible tells us that “greater love has no one than this….than to lay down one’s life for a friend” (John 15:13). To “lay down your life” for a friend may not mean literally dying for the person…but it talks about sacrifice. It is about placing the other’s needs and wants above your own. It is about doing what may not necessarily feel good for you…but what makes the other person feel good. This isn't an easy concept to grasp. Let us look at the example of Jesus Christ. He left the heavenly realm, His throne; He forsook His royalty and divinity and came down to earth where He lived as a mortal man; He even wept…yes, Jesus cried. He was persecuted, hated, humiliated and on the cross, He suffered the worst kind of pain ever known to man. He took all the sicknesses of the world upon Himself, all the different types of pain there is and every would be…He bore on and in His flesh. Jesus didn’t feel good when He went through this torment and torture. When He went to the garden of Gethsemane to pray before the crucifixion, He asked God the Father if He could take that cup (of death) away from Him. This wasn’t a pleasant experience for Jesus, but He did it anyway. And He wasn’t forced…He willingly gave His life for us.

For us humans, it may never get to that point where we would offer our lives for someone else, ...but there is pain in love, sometimes...many times. Physical pain...and emotional pain too. I believe that the true yardstick for measuring if what we have in our earthly relationships really is love, is how we act during those inconvenient, painful moments. Those moments when would rather not be there for someone else, those moments when we have our own equally important things to do. If we can sacrifice our time, energy and efforts willingly, even when it may hurt to do so, when it may not feel nice …then we can say that what we have is really love.

Take a closer examination at Paul’s definition of love in 2 Corinthians 13: 4-7: “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;  does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things….”

This passage of Scripture describes love as patience, appreciation, humility, gentleness, selflessness, compromise, not getting upset, forgiving...etc. None of these virtues are easy to imbibe and express. It isn’t easy to always be nice, kind and forgiving towards another person. He/she may truly do something terrible to you...and you may feel justified not to forgive...but you must! It is even most difficult to be selfless because we have our needs as well. But God’s word cannot be changed. If truly we say we love someone…then we must demonstrate all these good traits in all our actions towards them. The end result in a loving relationship is that both parties ensure to the happiness of each other...at all costs.

On a final note…If you’re reading this and you’re not sure if what you have in your relationship is truly love (according to God’s word) then you may want to assess your behavior and actions towards your significant other using the above mentioned scripture. If you show all of these virtues towards each other without holding back…then you are on the right track. If not then what you have may be everything else, except love.

Having a dream and the path that leads to success...

Regardless of whatever niche you are in, you cannot truly aspire for success if you don't have a clear mental picture of what you want. Talk to anyone who has succeeded at anything and they'd tell you that their path to greatness first began with a dream. I've heard stories of award-winning actors who had already envisioned themselves holding the award long before they even became famous.

In the Bible, we have the well-known example of Joseph who dreamed he would be great when he was just an ordinary boy.

Martin Luther King had a dream...he wasn't just saying so in that famous speech of his. He dreamed of an America where there would be equal civil rights for all races of Americans. Fast forward to 2014 and a black man is president of America.

Famous actor Jim Carrey told the story of how he wrote himself a cheque worth some millions of dollars (I can't recall the exact amount), when he was broke and struggling to make it in life. Long before he starred in his first film, he had a clear picture of just how successful he intended to become.

Frankly speaking, I do believe that every sane adult does have the understanding that they want to make "something" out of their life.  I believe that this comes to us naturally because God set purpose in our hearts right from our conception. However, many cannot give a clear-cut description of what that "something" is. Still, many have no realistic plans on how to achieve it. They don't take steps towards becoming what they wish to be.  Many people in such situations seem to just float through life hoping that their dreams will come true...or waiting for situations and circumstances to favor them.

Sadly, things don't work that way in the real world. You are not going to have perfect conditions and everything in life won't always be rosy. Sure, God can work a miracle in your favor in an instant, and yes! we must have hope and faith in the words He has promised.  But faith without works is dead! We must add to our faith, action. We can't just sit and do nothing. We must make the most of every opportunity we are faced with...even the unpleasant ones.

What does all this mean?

Well, walking the path to success involves having a dream, and making concrete plans on how to make it a reality. It also involves having the right attitude towards life. Take the example of Joseph who never saw his obstacles as setbacks; but rather as opportunities. At every place he found himself, he made impact, he remained relevant...even in prison.

In order to succeed, you must desire as much as you aspire. You  must be consumed by your vision. Talk about it as though it is a reality already. Remain driven and motivated. Be optimistic.

On a final note if you have a dream, then you should begin to identify your gift(s) and how such can become productive for you. Actually, your area of gifting and strength is usually the area where you will find success in life.

I hope to (in upcoming posts), shed more light on these principles which I believe can help us get on the right path that leads to success in life.

A momentary season of dryness, and then...

I have been feeling spiritually dry and disconnected for quite a number of weeks now. I must confess my prayer life hasn’t been so fantastic either. I mean yeah I do pray as often as the Holy Spirit prompts me to and I do read my Bible. But there has been an emptiness I’ve been feeling lately…and I became so troubled by this a few days ago. Sometime last week, I sat thinking to myself: “why do I feel like God is so far away?” “Why does my spirit feel so down?” “What am I not doing right?” Not only was I struggling in my walk with Him, but even doing certain things that were so easy before had become burdensome.

And as I sat whining to myself in melancholy, it was like I had a light-bulb moment! It hit me that the reason my spiritual life has been experiencing a drab is because though I’ve been talking to God, I haven’t really been connecting with Him.

There was a point in the past where I would spend hours and hours just singing to God…whether at home, in the car, before I slept, when I woke up...even at work. And when I wasn’t singing, I was playing worship music on my phone. It was so intense back then that I’d be asleep and would actually hear my spirit singing and worshipping God. I remember sharing a testimony about this with someone. During this phase of my walk with God, I always felt His presence so strongly throughout the day.  

Assessing my life over this past “dry" season and I realize that I’ve not been worshiping like I used to.  Hence, I’ve remained disconnected in my spirit from God. So even when I do pray, I pray from the flesh. And the scriptures state that those who worship God must do so in spirit and in truth. No wonder I felt disconnected from God! The intimacy was no longer as intense as it used to be. My flesh was communicating with God, but not my spirit.

This realization also led me to the revelation that we each have our own way of connecting with God. Our relationship with God is personal, and just like we know how to touch the heart of our earthly loved ones, we must also know how to touch the heart of God if indeed we love Him as we profess. We must discover what it is that gets God’s power source in our lives turned on. (I now know that singing does that for me). We must learn to bond deeply with God...in the same we desire to bond in our relationships with those we love.

We must endeavor to sustain an intimate relationship with God…and not one that’s simply a routine. When we touch God’s heart…He is moved, and will arise from His throne on our behalf.

I will openly say that since I discovered where the problem was in my walk with God, I’ve repented and I’m slowly getting back to that point where I was in the past. I say “slowly” because bad habits are difficult to break, and neglecting this aspect of bonding with my Heavenly Father was a serious bad habit. I do thank God though for His grace which is sufficient enough to help me in my weakness. The fact that I found out where I was falling short, to me demonstrates that God desires for us to be better for Him. That’s how His grace comes into play, and I do thank Him for this all-sufficient grace.

I've vowed to get back to that level of intimacy of God…to even grow deeper in my relationship with Him. You should too!