When you see red flags...STOP!!

 

Red flags in relationships are those pointers to negative behavioral patterns, character traits or even bad habits that could negatively affect the survival of that relationship.

One mistake many people make is that they see obvious red flags, things about their significant other that they just can't live with...fiery tempers, domineering tendencies, pride, irresponsibility, toxic addictions to name a few…and they think: "when we marry, he/she will change," or "we will manage each other somehow!" For instance, the world is rife with stories of women who married men with blazing hot uncontrollable tempers, hoping that they would "simmer down" after marriage. Such women sadly ended up in abusive marriages...many with tragic repercussions.

Ignoring red-flags while dating, with the hope that things would change once you walk down the aisle is an erroneous way of thinking, not faith. A marriage is not some kind of magic show where you can correct your spouse’s flaws with a wave of a wand and an "abracadabra!"  Yes! people can change for the better, but a person will only do so when he/she accepts that there’s a problem which needs to be worked on, then makes a conscious decision to turn a new leaf. All the love you have to give a man or woman just won’t be enough to make them change for the better, if they see themselves as perfect.

 

Even regarding our spiritual lives, we must decide that we need salvation and invite Jesus into our hearts. He stands at the door knocking...and it’s up to us to either let Him in or not. That's because we each have the free-will to make our own choices.

One truth about marriage is that it cements everything in a relationship...the good, the bad and the ugly! And if the bad and ugly outweighs the good...it spells trouble. If the bad and ugly is too significant to be set aside, you should re-consider marriage no matter how painful it may be to end the relationship. The pain of ending a friendship or courtship cannot be compared to the pain of a broken marriage.

A marriage is meant to be enjoyed (even in the midst of tough times) and not endured. Your desire should not be to manage a marriage but to thrive in it. Being in the wrong marriage will have a negative effect on every other aspect of your life.

When clear signs of impending danger pop up in your relationship...hit the brakes! Spend time and truthfully appraise each other. Anything you both cannot handle when you are dating or courting, will be even tougher to handle when you are married.

Staying in a relationship where there are very clear red-flags (and in some cases, red billboards) could very well lead to regret later on in marriage. Regret is a very painful road to walk down. No one should jump into a fiery situation hoping not to get burned. It's just not wise.

When you see red flags...STOP!!!