Choose your spouse for you…not for others

Decisions! Decisions!! Decisions!!! Everything in life borders on making decisions. Whether its choosing what schools to attend, where to work,  what clothes to wear, our diet habits, friendships,  business partners etc. 

One of the most important life decisions we are faced with has to do with choosing a spouse. Marriage is serious business...and who you marry will either make or break you…for the rest of your life! Your spouse will either be your destiny helper or your destiny destroyer. Marriage will either propel you to fulfill your dreams, or turn them into a nightmare. You therefore shouldn't marry just any one.  More importantly, you shouldn’t choose to marry someone because someone else thinks he/she is right for you. The decision of who to marry is one that you should make for yourself (not for others) and for your own happiness and peace of mind. Afterall, you will not share your marital relationship with people, so you shouldn't make your choice based on who people think is right for you. Not even your parents or siblings. This might sound unrealistic, but it couldn't be farther from the truth. The Bible states that “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one….” So while receiving your parents’ blessing matters in marriage, even they won’t live it out for you.  When you marry, you will leave them and start a new life with your spouse. It is therefore wrong for parents to pick a spouse for their children. No God-fearing, God-loving parent(s) should. Rather, they should continually pray that their children find the right one when the time is right.  The prayer of a loving parent is powerful. That's by the way...


If you are adult enough to be thinking about marriage, then it means you know who you are, and what you can or can't handle in a relationship. You know what makes you tick or ticked-off. You know what you can live with, what you can’t live with and what you can't live without. You know your weaknesses and strengths. (If you haven't yet come to know yourself, then you aren't really ready for marriage...in my opinion. You may need to wait a bit more, and get to know yourself better).

People who think they know who/what is right for you don't really know. They can only perceive, assume and judge...but they don't really know. They are standing on the outside, looking in. They are limited as to what they can see. So they shouldn't be the force that propels your choice as concerns marriage. You shouldn't let them be your decision maker about your life-partner. When the chips are down, a relationship is between the two people involved...they are the ones who would wear the shoe. And as the saying goes, “it is the wearer of the shoe who knows where it pinches.”

Hence, deciding to marry a particular person because someone else thinks he/she is right for you isn't something you should even think of doing. Moreso, not if you truly believe that God has created a life-partner for you just as He MADE Eve for Adam and vice-versa. And you should believe this, if you believe everything else God says. The fact is: somewhere, there is someone whose personality, character, attitude, values, dreams and purpose will be a proper complement to yours. And that is who you should desire to marry.

If you believe you are ready to settle down, you should first pray that you find and meet Mr. or Ms. Right. Note that I didn't say Mr. or Ms. Perfect. Right doesn't mean perfect. Right means good for you.  Perfect doesn't exist...not in this world.

And don't just pray. Believe in what you prayed for, and then desire what you prayed for. And believe that God shall grant your heart desires. Because He promised to do just that...and He shall.

Choose your spouse for you…not for others.