Monday 16 December 2013

Men, Women and Relationships


One indisputable fact of life is that men and women are two uniquely different individuals on so many levels, in many ways. Generally, men are logical while women are emotional. Men are thinkers, while women are feelers.A man for example will hire someone to work for him, once the person is qualified. He reasons that "since the person can do the job, I'll employ him." A woman conversely may say, "well this person is qualified but I just don't feel good about hiring him/her." Maybe this has to do with the “female intuition” which has commonly been termed as a woman’s “sixth-sense.”

Ironically, though men are thinkers, they tend not to over-think before deciding on issues whereas a woman will think about all the possible outcomes of a particular situation before she reaches a conclusion. She will want to play-out the "what if's" in her mind before deciding.
Women usually allow their sensitive side show, while men will tend to keep that aspect of themselves hidden. It is not that men don't cry, but they prefer to do so behind closed doors when no one else can see the tears. Interesting also is that though men are physically stronger than women, women are emotionally stronger than men. That is to say that a woman's threshold for handling emotionally difficult/stressful situations is much higher than a man's.

When it comes to communicating, women love to talk...while men can speak volumes in very few words, hence they are actually better listeners than women. For instance, when a man apologizes, he may not say more than "I am sorry, it won't happen again" A woman will not only say sorry, but will further explain why she did what she did...and oftentimes, she sees the man's apology as incomplete if he doesn't explain the "why's" and the "how's."

Generally, men are simple...while females are seemingly complex. A woman's "yes" can mean "no" and vice versa. Men and women will always respond differently when placed in the same situation. I can go on endlessly about the differences between these two genders.

However, what I want to stress is that these differences can't really be changed; they’re facts we have to live with. This is so essential in relationships because failure to accept them is what usually causes the most tension and misunderstandings. If a man and woman can honestly learn to celebrate their differences, they will have more peace in their relationship.

Women should learn to sometimes "get into the man's head." For instance, a woman should realize that just because her man does not let her see his emotions, doesn't mean he doesn't ever get hurt. Hence, she needs to be wise with the words she speaks to him. Remember that words are very powerful...they can either build or destroy. Women also should be mindful not to say things that bruise the man's ego. Since men talk less, they tend to get irritated and switch-off when a woman talks too much. So ladies, don't be loquacious during your conversations so you don't become a nag. Additionally, learn to enjoy some of the activities or hobbies your man likes. He will appreciate your effort, more than he will understand your disinterest in the things that interest him.

For the men, remember that women are emotional beings. Even if your lady acts tough, she's still a woman. Women love to "feel" good and they value appreciation and attention the most. Guys, you also have to be wise with the words you speak to her too. Say nice things to her as often as you can; women love compliments. Know also that when a woman wants your attention, she wants your full attention. If you've agreed to sit and watch a movie with her for instance, don't use that time to do other things like make phone calls. Men should learn to listen to the female intuition especially if your lady has a "bad feeling" about something. Many husbands have dismissed such gut-feelings from their wives only to make a decision that turns detrimental in the end.

The bottom-line is that men and women should appreciate who they are. It was never a misdeed or mistake that God created us with these idiosyncrasies. Like I once heard Pastor John Hagee say during one of his teachings, "a man is a man for a reason, and a woman is a woman for a reason." Neither one should expect the other to be like him/her. In a real loving relationship, we should be more understanding of our differences and learn how best to relate with each other based on these differences.